From toddlers to teens, kids love asking big questions, and sometimes, they’re tough to answer. Here are three tips for handling those challenging moments, whether it’s about socks or life’s bigger mysteries.
From toddler to teen, our children love to ask BIG questions. It’s in their job description. And while answering, “where did my sock go?” has many possible answers like, ”check inside the washer or dryer,” or “try your floor,” and “how would I know?,” or a desperate “the dryer monster ate it because he was hungry, “ there are others that may pose more of a challenge for parents.
Here are 3 tips to answering hard questions. Even about socks.
1. “What do you think?” Often your children don’t mean to ask you a huge and overwhelming question (think sex, death, puberty, etc.). They just want a simple answer to a simple question (a la the sock). In order to clarify, try answering any BIG question with a question right back. This a) allows you to narrow in on what your child is looking for and b) gives your brain time to avoid panic and think through some type of response. Other options for questions to ask back, “What are you thinking about?” or “Why do you ask” or “Tell me why you’re asking or what’s on your mind.”
2. Keep the answer short and simple. No one wants a lecture, or to listen to their parent search for metaphors that they don’t understand. Even if you have a whole speech memorized in your head, keep things simple. Give an answer (or thought) and then PAUSE. Your child may be ready to move on, or to ask you a follow up. Remind yourself that conversations are a two-way street and that no big topic was covered in one sitting.
3. Admit when you don’t know. It’s important for children to know that you are always growing and learning. You don’t need to have all the answers, and there is great value to showing that you know where and how to find reliable information. Be honest, tell your child that you don’t know, and suggest that you look it up/learn it together. Whether it is a trip to the library or a joint google search, you can help your child to learn how and where to look for answers they can trust.