Remember, when it comes to caregiving, there are many options to choose from and finding what is right for your family is a personal decision.
Choosing a caregiver is one of the toughest decisions that parents face. It’s normal to need a little help figuring what to ask. If you’re considering having a caregiver in your home, here is an interview guide on how to ask questions that can help you to anticipate a caregivers’ approach to your child’s development.
A few things to keep in mind…
- Don’t ask all of these at once - use this as a guide to help pick and choose what resonates best with your family.
- Try not to forget that conversations are a two way street, and that you want to try and leave plenty of time for a potential caregiver to get to know YOU as well.
- It’s perfectly normal to be looking to find a caregiver who can help guide you in decisions and recommendations about your family. That’s all part of the interview process. Eliciting their thoughts in some of these key areas may help you figure out if their advice resonates with you, or feels applicable in your home.
Building a Relationship
Viewing your childcare provider as a member of the family can help to support a healthy attachment for your child. Your child will spend a lot of time with this person, and hopefully grow to love and respect them. This can be hard for parents to accept because jealousy might arise! Remember, the more people who love and care for your child, the better for their development. Having a strong attachment to a caregiver supports your child’s development across their lifespan.
In an effort to develop a relationship early and show interest in who this new potential family member is, it’s important to include a few questions designed to help elicit their interests.
- Where are you from? How long have you lived here?
- Tell me about your family? If you have young children, who cares for them while you are working?
- What do you like to do in your time off?
- Why did you decide to work with children?
- What are you looking for in a new position?
- How would you describe your relationship with your last family?
Introducing Your Child
Seeing a prospective caregiver with your child is an important way to gain insight into their natural instincts, warmth, and comfort.
Things to notice:
- How comfortable are they holding or interacting with your child(ren)?
- Do they appear warm and engaging?
- Are they gentle? Appropriate? (For example, do they ask for a hug from a hesitant 4 year old, or engage them with a question about the character on their pajamas?)
- How do they respond to your child’s reaction? (For example, do they label your child as shy or make comments to you about your child as if they weren’t there?)
- What questions do they ask about your child re: schedule, schooling, routines, preferences, activities, temperament, etc?
- What questions do they ask you about your family, employment, preferences, needs, etc.?
Previous Experience
Finding out about a caregivers previous employment experiences is a 2-part process. The first involves asking the caregiver directly.
Possible questions to ask:
- How long have you been a caregiver?
- How many children have you cared for in one family?
- What ages of children have you cared for? What ages are your favorite and why?
- What responsibilities have you had in your last position?
- How have you handled concerns or disagreements with employers in the past?
- Are you in touch with previous employers/children?
- What types of children do you find most challenging to work with?
- What do you like most about your work with children?
- What do you like the least about working with children?
- When do you typically lose your temper?
- What do you believe is your greatest strength? Weakness?
Part 2 of this process involves talking to previous employers in a reference check. Base that conversation off of any concerns or questions raised in your interview with the caregiver, or focusing on particular issues that are of importance to you.
Possible questions to ask:
- Why did this person leave your employment?
- What did you appreciate most about this person?
- How did this person handle discipline or behavioral concerns in your home?
- Can you describe the relationship between your child(ren) and the caregiver?
- Were there any obstacles in your relationship with this person?
- Was this person able to accept feedback or specific instructions?
- Any hesitation in your recommendation?
- How flexible was this person?
- How likely would you be to rehire this person if circumstances allowed?
Routines
Children need strong routines to thrive. Asking questions about how a caregiver handles typical routines and schedules can help you to predict what your child(ren)’s day is likely to look like.
Possible questions to ask:
- How do you feel about schedules and routines?
- What activities do you like (or have you experienced) to do with children this age?
- Do you like activities outside of the home or not?
- How do you feel about playdates?
- How do you feel about time at the playground?
- How do you learn about activities or offerings in the neighborhood?
Sleep
Sleep is a biological necessity for children. Finding a caregiver who values the importance of sleep, and shares your philosophy around sleep is especially important in building a cohesive relationship.
Possible questions to ask:
- Do you have any tricks for getting children to sleep?
- Where do you usually do naps? In the crib? Stroller? Swing?
- Do you follow any sleep schedule? Would you be willing to?
- Have you used any sleep training methods in the past?
- What are some routines you have around naps and bedtime?
Discipline
All children will display challenging behaviors as part of normal development. Anticipating how your caregiver will respond is difficult, but an important aspect for consideration in your caregiver choice.
Possible questions to ask:
- How have you disciplined other children in your care?
- How do you talk to children about their emotions?
- How do you soothe children when they are upset?
- What are your thoughts on limits and rules?
- How would you handle my child having a temper tantrum in public?
- How would you handle my child hitting another child?
- How do you handle two children fighting over a toy?
- How have you and employers in the past handled any disagreements about limits or consequences?
Other Responsibilities
Hiring a caregiver inside your home may mean that you have expectations for their help outside of routine childcare duties. Asking about these in advance can help you to set realistic expectations from the start.
Possible questions to ask:
- Are you willing to do light cooking? Housekeeping? Errands?
- Are you willing to do laundry? For the child or the family?
- Is there anything you won’t do or feel uncomfortable doing?
- Are you able to manage instances where we may be late to relieve you?
- Are you ever available for additional hours or overnight?
- Are you open to traveling with our family?
- How do you feel about caring for another child on drop-off playdates or if there is family visiting, etc?
Above all remember, this is a learning process for both you and your baby, and it is normal to have many heightened emotions during this time. Be patient with yourself and understand that this process can take time.