Parenting stress is real, but you can reframe it with a growth mindset and quality time. Embrace calm for better connection and healthier family dynamics.
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent so just be a real one.” —Sue Atkins
Key Concepts:
● Parenting stress = when the demands of parenting feel like they are too high, and that you don’t have the resources to meet them.
● Studies show that parents are significantly more stressed today than they were in previous decades. This is exacerbated by parents’ expectations of themselves, over-parenting trends, and parenting “noise.”
● Not all stress is bad. Some “good” stress shows that we can face challenges, helps us to develop resilience, and can build character and coping skills. But stress where you feel unsupported or incapable can be different.
● Stress is a biological response that can be protective, productive, and a vehicle for connection
● When we parent under stress, it can impact our relationship with our children by undermining connection, making us less responsive, and causing us to “act-out.”
What to Do:
● Reframe stress. Instead of criticizing ourselves for having stress, we can work to accept it. By acknowledging that our stress response exists, we can welcome it when we need it, and begin to work to dismiss it when we don’t. Figure out situations or activities that stress you out and work to adjust them if you can (and want to).
● Have a “parental growth mindset.” Having a growth mindset means that you can improve, grow and learn from practice and experience. Research has found that when a parent has this growth mindset, children aren’t affected by their parent’s stress.
● Reduce the “noise” around you and go “back to baseline” with activities that support your wellness and calm. This may mean you’ve taken on too much, stretched yourself too thin, made too many demands on yourself. Permission to cut these ties is granted.
● Think of quality time with your family, not quantity. Give yourself 10 more minutes at work if you need to, and then don’t check email at dinner.
● Try to give the gift of calm to your family. Choose calm over order, progress or efficiency. In the long-run, it has better outcomes!