Supporting your toddler through transitions builds essential skills for self-regulation and executive function. Here’s how to guide them with patience and creativity.
“Every time you comfort your child or walk them through a routine, you are helping form these connections.” ― Tovah P. Klein, PhD
Key Concepts
The ability to calmly move (or transition) from one activity to the next - whether or not they want to - is the work of toddlerhood. It's one of the most important skills for toddlers to practice. We can honor our children’s feelings and still help them to master transitions.
Transitions are hard because they require self regulation skills. Your toddler has to stop something they are doing (inhibitory control), focus on what they need to do next (attention), and change their behavior (plan for action).
Transitions teach your children how to improve skills related to executive function and practice following the schedule, the plan, or someone else. This matters because children need to be able to succeed in the outside world, and be prepared for settings where they can’t do what they want all of the time.
What to Try
- Find natural transitions and respect their work. If you can, wait until there is a natural ending to move your toddler to something new. This may be the end of a meal or a game, the last block on the tower, or the end of a song. If you approach them on the last piece of the puzzle, wait a beat to say, “OK, time to go,” and start with, “I see you have one more piece. When you’re finished we can get ready to go.”
- Offer choices around transitions. Having control over the situation can reduce resistance (for example, reading one more story and getting dressed in the living room, or going to pick out the clothes themselves).
- Being silly can help take the tension out of transitions (instead of, "you need to get in the car, we’re running late” try saying, “show me how a dinosaur walks to the car”).
- Use visual reminders like a schedule or timer. Picture charts of routines or hourglasses SHOW your toddler how long they have left to play or what activity to expect next.