We’re living in an AI-driven world and there’s a lot of noise about ChatGPT right now. We’re here to remind you that ChatGPT, an AI “chatbot,” should not be your go-to source for parenting advice.
While the bot has access to huge amounts of information, it has limited knowledge after 2021 and is not able to replace human connection. Plus, it’s not possible to understand your family’s values or your child’s temperament, to name a few. Continue reading to see how the Bot answered some of the top parenting questions we get, plus how you can use ChatGPT to help you.
What is ChatGPT
ChatGPT stands for the Chat Generative Pre-Trained Transformer. In the simplest terms, ChatGPT is an artificial intelligence “chatbot” that was created by OpenAI, which is a San Francisco based artificial intelligence (AI) research company. OpenAI released ChatGBT to the public in late November 2022, causing an absolute frenzy. What does this mean for our society? How will this change how we work? Think? Educate? Code? PARENT?! More on this in a moment.
What does ChatGPT pull from?
ChatGPT is pulling from immense amounts of data on the internet, which includes books, articles, Wikipedia, scientific journals, code repositories, social media, blogs, and forums…that are NOT vetted! ChatGPT has “limited” knowledge of both the world and events after 2021. This comes straight from Open AI’s website, so there is no denying this. On their website they even suggest “We’d recommend checking whether responses from the model are accurate or not.” So this brings us to our next point…For many people, one of the most inviting parts of ChatGPT is that it answers your questions in a conversational tone, similar to how a friend or colleague might talk to you. Just because the bot can speak to you like a friend, doesn’t mean that they are your friend.
ChatGPT is feeding parents’ appetite for a Parenting Handbook.
We’re in an era of perfectionist parenting, where we believe there is a “right” way to do things, and that just isn’t true. ChatGPT fuels this, as a way to ask questions and feel like, by getting an answer generated from a Bot, we are being fed the correct way to handle a situation. This is all linked to our overwhelming need to control parenting. While this might be appealing, ChatGPT is not able to arm you with the same type of tools and support that your co-parent, community, Coop Group, or experts in child development can give you.
But, ChatGPT is not human and doesn’t account for…
- Your morals and values. Many of your parenting decisions are specific to who youare as a family unit. Even though it might feel like ChatGPT knows you and is saying all the right things, remember that ChatGPT doesn’t know how you parent or run your household.
- Your temperament. Many of the parenting decisions that you make are going to be a result.
- Your relationship with your child, the connection you have with them, and the way you communicate with each other.
- The differences in your children and your individual relationship with them. This is why the script that ChatGPT provides doesn’t work. With a script, you're listening to the Bot, but not taking into consideration what your child needs at that moment. This can impact moments of connection.
We wanted to test out if ChatGPT could answer some of our biggest questions. Here’s what we found…
When we asked “How do I teach my baby to sleep?” We agreed with many of the points ChatGPT made, but there were some areas where they went wrong. We agreed with a strong bedtime routine, a conducive sleep environment, and safe sleep practices. We disagreed with including the encouragement of self-soothing, which a baby can’t do before they reach four months (ChatGPT didn’t mention an age around self-soothing). ChatGPT said that when teaching your baby to sleep, you should attend to your baby’s needs during the night, such as feeding, diaper changes, or comforting them if they wake up - we also disagree with this. While you can do those things, you can also make sure those needs have been met before bedtime and let your baby work through these challenges on their own.
When we asked “My child keeps biting me. What can I do?” We agreed with many of ChatGPT’s suggestions like staying calm, responding consistently, setting clear boundaries, and alternative outlets (like different ways to satisfy their sensory needs). In this example, the advice that ChatGPT gave was really good, but it’s still not cutting it for us. ChatGPT is not replacing connecting with other parents who are going through the same thing, understanding why a toddler might bite, and unique and specific interventions that fit your child, your household, and your temperament.
So how can I use ChatGPT moving forward?
There are moments when a Bot IS helpful to all of us (see our favorite uses below), but remember to take it at face value. Meaning, you might get some good advice from the Bot, but it is coming without connection, which is a huge downside. Even though ChatGPT might sound like your friend on the other line (are we dating ourselves?), it’s not. From decades of research on adult happiness, we know that connections (real, human ones!) are essential to happiness (for everyone, not just parents). Parents who are searching for answers from ChatGPT are lacking these connections. Plus, with ChatGPT, parents are still without their village. A Bot can answer your questions, but ultimately, that answer is denying you of community. We were never meant to raise our children in isolation, and here we are doing it and relying on a Bot.
With that being said, there’s no denying that ChatGPT IS capable of solving certain problems. Here are a few of our favorite creative uses for ChatGPT.
We are crazy about this parenting hack on bedtime stories, where you get to take a break from the books you’ve read a million plus times (you’re welcome), and involve your child in creating a story. Ask the Bot to make a story for your child’s age, choose a location (“dinosaur-land on the subway in England”), and maybe add in a little lesson, too. For example, “write me a story for my 5 and 7 year old about dinosaurs. Include something about friendship and what being a good friend looks like.” This is a win, win. The story is new (whew!), your child helped to create it (characters and location), and you even got to insert a top-of-mind parenting topic (friendships).
We also love this hack on meal planning and indoor games. Open ChatGPT and ask it to meal plan for you (dietary restrictions are honored, so long as you specify). You can also use the Bot to help you come up with activities for a rainy day. We loved their suggestions, including (but not limited to) sensory play, dancing, and an obstacle course.
ChatGPT feels new and interesting and as a society, we’re trying to figure out how to use it. We don’t know how this will change our day-to-day quite yet, but there’s certainly a lot of buzz on the potentials (goodbye college essay?!). Of course, we’re not suggesting that AI disappears anytime soon (in fact the opposite may be happening), but instead that we put relationships, human contact, and connection first. Like our ancestors did before us. They stuck around for thousands of years, so probably a safer bet.