The Value Of Reminiscence

“What's new?” That common conversation starter may work well when you're catching up with friends or colleagues.

However, if you are talking to your loved one with dementia, whose short-term memory is impaired, that simple question can lead to confusion and frustration. People with Alzheimer's disease and other memory disorders often have trouble communicating and understanding what other people are saying to them. As the disorder progresses, the person's ability to communicate can become more limited.

However, there are benefits to taking the time and effort to converse with your loved one. Everyday conversations help the person with dementia stay involved in daily life. They can also let you know if he or she feels hungry, ill, sad, confused or upset. Be as patient and pleasant as possible when talking to your loved one. As a family member or friend, it's important to learn how to speak and listen to an older adult whose memory is failing.

Rather than starting a conversation with “what's new?,” you may want to try to engage your loved one with reminiscence. Long-term memories often remain intact even after short-term memory is impaired. Memories can be comforting and even therapeutic. They can reduce apathy and confusion, and may alleviate depression. You also will benefit from engaging your loved one in reminiscing about positive memories. You may gain additional knowledge about your loved one and an understanding of the person's life. You may find links between the past and their present behaviors. There are some simple ways to engage your loved one in conversation. The results will positively impact them by providing social interaction and a sense of empowerment, which will benefit their well-being.

Engage multiple senses. Use props to trigger memories and encourage your loved one to share. Consider all of the senses when choosing items. Photos, music, favorite foods, a scrap book from their youth, reprints of an old Sears catalog, a coffee table book from a library sale featuring old cars, architecture, or cities, their wedding album – any of them items can act as a useful aid to engagement. Try gathering items around a theme – a specific idea, event, occasion or period of life. Just make sure that all items are safe to touch. Use a photo or other item as a conversation starter. If it's from a vacation they took in high school or a USO dance, ask about the other people in the photo. Ask about music that might have been playing. Did they enjoy a meal there or travel to that location for the first time?

Share your own memory from a similar event – maybe you had trouble choosing a prom dress or have a funny story about your date. That may trigger a similar memory with your loved one. Even talking about the weather can help spur conversation. Ask your loved one if they ever had a “snow day” when they were in school. Did they like sitting on the porch watching a thunder storm?

If your loved one has trouble communicating verbally, offer opportunities to communicate nonverbally – sound, movement, rhythm, smell, touch and taste can keep your loved one engaged even if they can't speak. Activities involving visual and tactile experiences can be still stimulating and enjoyable. It's important not to force the conversation, but you may have to lead it. Try to physically be at the same level as your loved one and make eye contact. Finally, be sensitive, flexible and patient. Give your loved one time to speak – it may seem like an uncomfortable silence, but it will allow your loved one with dementia time to gather their thoughts and respond.