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      Technology Safety and Social Media Guidance for Parents of Tweens & Teens — Part 1

      Overprotection offline, underprotection online: Social media impacts tweens/teens differently. Learn to monitor, set boundaries, and foster healthy habits.

      "We have overprotected children in the real world and under-protected them in the virtual world." -Jonathan Haidt

      Key Concepts:

      • Blanket statements about all social media being bad can be misleading. As with younger ages, the damaging impact of screetime and social media use is largely around what tweens and teens are NOT doing when they are buried in their devices.
      • Young people who are leading full in-person lives, are managing well in school, have strong friendships and relationships, and are physically active, largely do WELL even with screen time. However, when one or more of those areas are suffering, the impact of any device, and especially social media use, can be detrimental.
      • Not everyone is affected by social media the same way. How much a teen benefits or is hurt by social media depends on their own identity and mental health. It is critical for parents to consider factors like gender, temperament, self-esteem, sleep habits, identity, self-control, and diagnoses like ADHD.
      • ​​Learning to make mistakes and experiencing natural consequences are part of the work of childhood. Boundaries help our children feel safe, know what to expect, and be able to regulate.
      • Monitoring your child’s technology use is about noticing, learning together, and being aware. Healthy monitoring is not over-surveillance, which can erode trust.
      • Your goal when you monitor social media is to understand what your child is interested in, what they have been exposed to, and to learn more. Start with curiosity, and ask your child to tell you about what they are looking at and why.

      What to Try:

      • Having an open conversation BEFORE you start any monitoring is essential.
        • This means being honest about what you will be reading, how you will use it, what your intentions are, and how you will respect your child’s growing need for privacy
      • Find a monitoring tool and routine that works for you. There are device-level controls, app-based controls, internet service provider controls. There are also a series of monitoring apps to allow you to review your child’s content and habits, as well as your own.