Taking Care Of Your Grandchildren As A Grandparent

There is an old saying among grandparents: It is nice when the grandchildren visit. It is also nice when they go home to their parents.

But many grandparents see their grandchildren every day. Over 8 million American children live with their grandparents. In one-third of these homes, the parents don't live there, and the grandparents are in charge. In other families, grandparents care for grandchildren during the day while the parents are at work. It is a delight to be with grandchildren. But it is also often stressful. Grandchildren are full of energy while older adults may be slowing down. They like playing computer games that grandparents may not understand. They may watch too much YouTube and not do their homework.

Here are some ideas for how grandparents can enjoy their grandchildren with less stress:

Learn what children need:

Grandparents were parents to young children a long time ago. They may not remember what kids at different ages need. For example, disciplining children at ages 5 and 15 should be different. Doctors and teachers can offer information.

Share what children like:

They may look strange, but computer games are fun. So are YouTube videos. They are also often educational. There are reasons why so many children love them. Don't tell kids to read books instead. Try playing the games and watching the videos with them. You will understand your grandchildren more. They may appreciate your effort.

Talk with their parents:

If parents are involved, don't argue with them about how to handle the kids. Treat the parents as the experts on their children. It will make it easier for you to play the role of supportive grandparent. It will make it easier for the kids, too, if the adults aren't arguing.

Practice self-care:

Caring for grandchildren shouldn't be all that you do. You need protected time apart from them to be with your spouse, see friends, and enjoy hobbies. Having down-time to read a book or watch TV lets you recharge. Proper sleep, exercise, and diet matter to your health. You need to stay healthy if you want to be able to keep up with those grandkids.

Call other grandparents:

Grandparents like to show photos of their grandchildren to one another. But they can also compare notes. How do you help your grandkids with homework, they might ask? How do you get them to listen? Grandparents can provide each other with advice, information, and support. They can help each other find more joy in taking care of the grandchildren they love.

Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist, family therapist and a Principal for Health Management Associates. He is the author of two self-books on family caregiving and a monthly column on family caregiving for AARP.org