Self-regulation is key to guiding behavior and reaching goals. By practicing patience, mindfulness, and independence, children can develop the emotional and cognitive skills to thrive daily.
“Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day…” - Heraclitus
Key Concepts:
- Self regulation (an executive function skill!): our ability to harness emotional and cognitive skills to guide our actions around a goal. Waiting in line? Taking turns? Focusing on building a tower? All linked to self regulation.
- Ever see your child receive a gift they were less enthused about? Self regulation (and let’s be honest, some social norms) help your child learn to be kind, even if they are less than thrilled with the gift.
- Toddlers learning self regulation need structured environments, supportive relationships, direct instruction, and coaching (just like…everything in parenting. Hey, we never said this was easy).
What to Try:
- Establish consistent and predictable routines and expectations, as this promotes a sense of security by providing clear goals. “Before bed, we always take a bath and read one book.”
- Model what self regulation looks like in real life. “Oh gosh. There is such a long line at Starbucks and I really want my morning coffee. I’m going to take a deep breath and wait patiently. I know it will move fast.”
- Practice mindfulness (with your child! But feel free to join in) through breathing exercises. Take 5: Child inhales for the count of 5, raising a finger for each count. Encourage independent play, which can help facilitate the development of self regulation skills. Yep, you heard us. You don’t always need to play with your child. Let them explore on their own (this can lead to an increase in self regulation!).
- Dance! By playing different types of music and freezing when the music stops, you’re working on all sorts of important self regulation skills. Extra credit if you build in imitation by asking your child to freeze in a certain position.