Self Esteem & Perfectionism in Elementary-Age Children

Self-esteem is key to a child’s happiness and success. Help them build confidence by offering praise, setting realistic goals, and creating a supportive environment where they can grow and learn from mistakes.

Self-esteem is one of the most important factors related to children's happiness, well- being, and success
Many factors influence a child’s sense of self-esteem. The most powerful factors include: 1) Their experiences in how they have been treated by others, 2) Opportunities for success and failures within a supportive environment, 3) The quality of their relationships with their parents, siblings, friends, teachers, and other important people in their lives, 4) Their personal characteristics including talents and personality
One of the biggest challenges to self-esteem can be perfectionism.
Research shows that perfectionism is not correlated with improvements in school, but instead with worse performance. In addition, perfectionist children are at higher risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
At different points in development, all children can experience low self-esteem and perfectionist tendencies. Helping children cope with them is important for their long- term development.

Provide positive feedback. Let your child know that you see their strengths and accomplishments. Praise them for their efforts, not just their achievements.
Set realistic expectations. Don't put too much pressure on your child to succeed. Help them set goals that are challenging but achievable.
Encourage them to try new things. Help your child step outside of their comfort zone and try new activities. This will help them build confidence and resilience. Make sure that your child feels like they are allowed to fail.
Help them develop coping skills. Teach your child how to deal with disappointment and failure in a healthy way. Help them develop strategies for managing stress and anxiety.
Be a good role model. Children learn by watching the adults in their lives. Make sure you are modeling the kind of behavior you want to see in your child. Be positive, confident, and supportive.
Create a safe and supportive environment. Make sure your child feels loved, accepted, and respected for who they are, at home.
Help them identify their strengths and talents. Everyone has strengths and talents, even if they don't always seem obvious. Help your child identify their strengths and talents and celebrate them.
Teach them to be kind to themselves. It's important for children to learn to be kind to themselves, just as they are kind to others. Help your child develop self-compassion by teaching them to forgive themselves for mistakes and to focus on their strengths.