Screen time doesn’t just have to be a babysitter—it can be an opportunity for connection. Co-viewing with your child opens the door to important conversations that might be hard to start otherwise
While we tend to think of screen time as a babysitter - a way to entertain our kids when we need to get something done, or have an adult conversation (remember those?) - what if it was something more? Co-viewing, that is, watching a show with your child, has many hidden benefits well documented in the research. Chief among them is the ability to start conversations with your child that are hard to have elsewhere. Conversations that we know we need to have, but can’t find the words to start.
For our younger kids, this may mean finding some familiar content with a twist. For example, the Bluey episode that addresses infertility, the Mr. Rogers or Sesame Street episodes around death, or the Daniel Tiger episode on bullying. Watching these episodes together, and then asking questions like, “Have you ever seen something like this?” or, “Do you know about anyone who died?” can be the perfect way to dig a little deeper, introduce a new concept, or get ahead of an issue our children will one day have to face. Done via the screen, kids have a chance to think about issues outside of themselves, and the distance to become aware of struggles or dangers without having to get too involved.
For kids ages 8 and above, remember back to the content you likely consumed as a kid (depending on how old you are, we’re hoping you remember some less-than-appropriate stuff your parents let you watch on good old basic cable). It was full of new words (some of them bad), new concepts (some of them wild), and LOTS of questions (“What’s a virgin?” among them). As a kid, this content was exciting, interesting, and fuel for many awkward conversations with your parents. But in today’s more appropriate, more family-focused, more child-centered world, finding content you can talk about is actually hard to do. Getting to some of today’s most important topics, like body image, social media, anxiety/depression, heartbreak, and friendship drama, may require you to branch out from your usual repertoire, and into some grittier content.
What makes this type of choice GOOD for your child, is doing it alongside you, with a built-in loved one to explain, augment, and support the content on the screen. For example, you could say, “I don’t like the way everyone is treating her. What do you think about it?” or, “What would you do if you saw someone being treated like that?” Or you can try out, “I know this is a show, but things like this do happen in real life. This character made some really good choices that you could make if this happened to you (or vice versa).”
Explaining hard things, layered on a supportive relationship, can be a gift to our children, and to ourselves.