Routines for Both of You — Infancy

Co-regulation is the process of helping your baby to regulate themselves, by letting them borrow your calm.
Temperament is an individual’s style of responding to people, events, and environmental stimuli. Your baby has their own unique temperament, and so do you.
Goodness of Fit: the match between your baby’s temperament and yours. Research shows this is important for your relationship now and in the future.

Notice how your baby responds to new situations. Are they easy to warm up? Slower to warm up? Spirited? Most babies are a combination!
Your baby is changing so much, it may be hard to tell what their temperament is, and that is ok too. Over time, you will continue to get to know your baby.

Nighttime wakeups and feedings are normal at this age. You might be seeing 2-3 wakeups per night.
Your baby may be getting ready to increase their bottle nipple size. Generally babies switch to the 2nd nipple size somewhere after the 3 month mark.
Soon your pediatrician might give you the go-ahead to start solids (this usually comes at the 4 month checkup). Just because you get the go-ahead, doesn’t necessarily mean your baby is ready (or that you are!).
There are two main feeding approaches - purees and baby-led weaning (BLW). Babies who start with purees often begin earlier than those who begin with BLW. This has to do with the fine motor skills required to pick up food with BLW.

Continue to feed your baby every 2-4 hours.
Pay attention to your baby’s feeding behavior. If you notice them aggressively sucking, taking longer than usual, yanking at the bottle, or getting increasingly irritated, it might be time for a bigger size nipple.
Look for readiness signs that your baby is ready to start solids. Signs include: sitting up unsupported in a high chair, head/neck control, curiosity around food, and able to pick things up (for BLW specifically)
Make sure you have what you need to begin your baby’s solid journey. Items include: a highchair with a foot rest, bibs, a cup for water, utensils, bowls/plates.

Babies can generally approach sleep learning after 4 months. Research shows that there are many safe and loving ways to help your baby learn how to sleep.
The swaddle to sleep sack transition often happens around the 3-4 month mark. There are plenty of transition sleep sacks on the market.
Your baby should still be sleeping in a crib or a bassinet in your room.
Adding cereal or formula to your baby’s bottle will not help them sleep longer.

Continue to offer sleep every 1.5-2 hours to avoid an overtired baby.
Decide if you want to use one of the popular methods of sleep learning and if so, start to think about which one: Extinction (also known as cry-it-out), Gradual Extinction, Camping Out. Make sure to talk to your pediatrician before starting. When contemplating a sleep learning method, consider your own temperament, your baby’s temperament, and your time and work schedule.
Pay attention to signs that your baby is ready to transition to a sleep sack. Signs include: rolling over consistently, trying to lift up on their arms, or consistently breaking free from the swaddle.

The midline is an invisible line down your baby’s body. The line represents the left and right hemispheres of your baby’s brain. The more your baby practices crossing their midline, the better the communication will be between the two hemispheres of their brain.
One of the first gross motor skills that babies master is rolling over. Generally babies roll from their stomach to their back first (during tummy time), and then they learn to roll from their back to their stomach.

Activities that encourage crossing the midline:
Hold your baby in your lap, slowly stretch out their arms - up, down, in and out. Cross your baby’s arms around their body (like they are giving themselves a hug)
Continue to offer opportunities for floor play. It is through exposure to floor play that your baby will develop the muscle strength to start to roll.
Provide visual stimulation by showing high-contrast patterns, mobiles above their playmat, colorful toys, and mirrors.
Support your baby’s auditory stimulation by playing music (not too loud), reading, and exposing them to rattles/shakers.

Still getting to know your baby? Adjusting to parenthood takes time. While there might be pressure to love this experience, it is okay if you don’t. This is entirely normal. Feelings of ambivalence include feeling contradictory feelings about your role as a parent.
For some of you, returning to work is right around the corner. Learning to separate from your baby is an important skill for both of you. Remember during this transition that quality time matters a lot more than quantity.
Establishing a goodbye routine early on can help your baby learn to separate from you in a healthy way.

Welcome and accept ALL feelings without judgement. Recognize that it is normal to have mixed feelings about your role as a parent. Consider how you might comfort a close friend who was feeling this way.
Give yourself permission to take a break when you need it. Everyone needs time to recharge and you are no exception!
Establish a plan and a schedule that works for you when it comes time to return to work. Think through some logistical pieces about your return, including whether you need to pump at work and where you’ll store breastmilk. Consider what your child needs for daycare - medication, diapers, changes of clothes.
Make sure important contacts (emergency contacts, doctor, hospital, poison control) are posted on the fridge or in another central location.
Create a goodbye ritual that is QUICK. Drawn out goodbyes are harder on both you and baby.