Preserving Family Holiday Traditions During The Pandemic

During last Easter, many family members who were sheltering in place in their individual homes couldn't gather in one place for their traditional family dinners.

But they comforted themselves with the thought that everyone would be together for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now, because of high levels of Covid in some parts of the country, that's not certain either.

Breaking bread, pouring drinks, watching football, chatting, joking, playing games—none of these activities may be considered safe if they bring family members in close enough proximity to potentially spread coronavirus to one another.

Out of caution, many families may choose to skip this year's festivities, hoping to return to their holiday traditions in 2021. But family members can still find ways of preserving a sense of togetherness if they are willing to be flexible and imaginative.

There are several possible options:

Parallel Holiday Dinners on Video:

As many families discovered last spring, traditions can be upheld in separate households. Each family can make the same recipes that, say, Great-Grandma used to use for glazed ham, brussels sprouts with cheese and chocolate mousse and then serve dinner and dessert at the same times while conversing with one another on a teleconferencing platform. It won't be as much fun as being there in person but will allow some far-flung relatives, too distant to ordinarily participate, to sit around the same virtual table.

Non-Meal Get-Togethers:

It is hard to imagine a family event without lots of food and drink. But when family members keep their masks on—and their mouths and noses covered—then they pose less risk of spreading infection to one another. By getting together for a non-meal holiday gathering, there can still be sharing news, giving thanks and exchanging gifts, even without hors d'oeuvres, eggnog and pecan pies.

Christmas in July:

Some families have long practiced the tradition of having a second Christmas celebration in July, with tinsel and presents, as an off-season opportunity for enjoying one another's company. What was off-season before could now be perfect timing for family members who decide to put off this December's Christmas celebration until next summer when they can more safely eat and drink together in the same room without masks.

Honor family values:

There are still ways of honoring the family's values nowadays, if not the specific holiday traditions that embody them. For family members who believe in giving thanks for the blessing of their sustenance, then delivering food to a homeless shelter might make an appropriate new holiday tradition. For those who love Nature, then a socially distant stroll outdoors will be a reminder of their connection to the Earth and each other. The joy of being and doing together—that's the primary family value at the heart of our holidays even during tough times.

Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist, family therapist and a Principal for Health Management Associates. He is the author of two self-books on family caregiving and a monthly column on family caregiving for AARP.org