Friendships evolve over time, starting with simple interactions. Help your child learn about kindness, inclusion, and handling ups and downs to build the foundation for healthy, lasting relationships.
“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school.” - Muhammad Ali
Key Concepts:
- There are five levels of friendship formed from early childhood through adulthood. Right now, your child is sitting between Level 0 (“momentary friendships”) and Level 1 (“one-way assistance friendships”).
- Research has found that early friendships set the tone for later relationships in life because your child is developing a sense of how positive relationships look and feel. They will carry these notions (to some extent) through future relationships!
What to Try:
- Talk about the characteristics of a good friend (fair, safe, comfortable, kind) with your child (“A good friend is caring and kind. This kind of friend notices when you're sad and wants to help”).
- Focus on fostering positive relationships. Do this by showing a child how to include someone in a game (instead of just saying “we don’t leave people out”).
- Play is a wonderful way to scaffold your child’s development of skills related to friendship. Try talking about who they are playing with and what they like to play, keep playdates small to start (1-2 friends), provide options for play (“Do you want to play with blocks or cars?”), and set a time limit (to avoid the overtired child).
- When your child is unsure of how to join in play, encourage them to watch what others are doing and find a way to join in. “What is Alex doing with those blocks? Is she making a restaurant? Do you think she might need someone to be a customer? Maybe a cook?”
- Normalize conversations about how friendships have ups and downs and have good days and bad.