“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” - Albert Einstein
Key Concepts:
- Mindsets are what guide our actions, reactions and behaviors, in particular when it comes to gaining knowledge and learning new skills. There are two types of mindsets: fixed vs. growth. In a fixed mindset, you believe that your qualities are unchangeable.
- In a growth mindset, you view your qualities as things that are malleable and can be cultivated through effort.
- Persisting is a growth mindset approach that allows you to continue to try and/or manage your own frustration towards something.
- Praise has a lot to do with a child’s mindset. Strive for process praise, which isn’t fixed and encourages your child to persist. Avoid person praise, which praises someone for their ability and is fixed (ex: You are so smart!).
What to Try:
- Let your child struggle and show them that you can tolerate their frustration as they persist. You can validate their feelings and assure them that practice makes progress (not perfect!).
- Support “trial and error learning ” by framing mistakes as opportunities to grow and try again. Model this yourself too.
- Model and encourage positive self-talk with phrases like, “What am I missing here?” or “I haven’t figured this out yet, but I’ll get there” instead of “I can’t” or “I’m bad at this.”
- Praise effort, persistence, seeking challenges, setting goals, planning, or using creative strategies. “You tried so many different strategies to solve that brain teaser!”or “What’s going to be your next move? I can tell you're thinking through some ideas.” While it is often tempting to tell children how smart they are or how good they are at a certain sport, this does not encourage perseverance. When “perfection” or innate talents are praised, children may become anxious to take risks where they may fail.
- Avoid comparisons between your child and siblings, friends, teammates, etc. This is called social-comparison praise and it reinforces competition but not intrinsic motivation. Keep praise targeted at things your child can change.
- Talk about brain plasticity and explain that their brain is still growing and learning. Encourage your child to consider what skills or tasks they’d like to learn next.