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      Is Santa Real? Answering impossible questions

      Are you Santa? Is Santa even real? We don’t pretend to have all the answers on these big ones, but we definitely have some research-informed guidance so you can respond with confidence when your kids put you on the spot.

      As with all things parenting, finding the answers and strategies that work for YOUR family is essential. After all, you're the one who has to stare into the sweet, heavy-lidded eyes of an adorable 8-year-old asking about Santa and determine how best to respond. And when it comes to difficult questions and parenting, the Santa conversation is only the beginning.

      A few things to keep in mind.

      1. Studies show that children like to believe in Christmas magic - including Santa. Children have reported having the desire to maintain a belief in Santa long after their common sense suggests he isn’t real, and often asking questions is their way of seeking permission to keep believing.
      2. Between the ages of 7-12, children are capable of holding two perspectives in their minds at the same time. They can know that Santa isn’t real AND they can enjoy believing in Santa for the purposes of fun. When possible, honoring their desire to continue to believe is something you can support without needing to “lie.”
      3. Your parent-child relationship is the most important ingredient in any situation. Trust your gut, what you know about your child’s temperament, and find whatever answers make you comfortable. There isn’t one way to do this, and you’re not going to do irreparable harm.

      When in doubt…answer a question with a question. Remembering that our children don’t always want us to jump in with an answer. Start with a simple, “Tell me what you’re thinking or what you’ve heard” before you jump in. Answer only the questions they have asked, and resist providing too much information or explanation. Sometimes they only seek a listening ear or an affirming statement.

      Separate magic from Santa. If you suspect that your child already knows that Santa isn’t real, but wants to continue to believe, try saying something like, “I believe in Christmas magic, and that is real for me. Everyone can believe whatever they want to, but Christmas is a special time that feels magical to me.”

      Leave room for indecision. If you sense your child is struggling with the decision to believe, make sure to leave things open. Try something like, “Just because we don’t see Santa, doesn’t mean he isn’t real for us. You get to decide.”

      Provide support. If your child is distressed to learn that Santa isn’t real, try explaining to them that the tradition of Santa is something that is important to your family, and will continue. You can let them know that while the presents may come from you, the magic is something that is real for everyone. Urge them not to try and spoil Santa for others, including their younger siblings, but instead - and only if they want to - include them in making traditions special for those who still believe.

      Create new traditions. While parents are generally saddened by the loss of Santa, finding new traditions to honor can help everyone find their place in the holiday. Encourage your child or children to participate in new festivities, find new ways to celebrate, and create new rituals for the whole family.