How To Talk To Your Loved One About Poor Hygiene?

As our loved ones get older, we may discover changes in their behavior. Such changes may include indifference or an aversion to changing clothes on a regular basis, bathing, or fixing one's hair.

This can be more than just a one-time occurrence, as some older adults may exhibit dramatic changes in hygiene habits. Your loved one may be suffering from—or hiding—maladies like deteriorating eyesight, arthritis, or the beginning stages of memory impairment. Perhaps he or she isn't changing clothes as often, because it is painful to do so.

Things like eye sight worsening, arthritis acting up, a physical pain in the body or possibly the beginning stages of memory impairment may be occurring. You need to have a conversation with your loved one once you recognize this pattern of behavior—the sooner the better. This might be a difficult conversation, as some adults have a hard time expressing their concerns on an adult-to-adult level with their parents, because their parents may treat them as though they are still children. You should not be discouraged if this is the case—or if there is some other reason that communication is difficult.

By utilizing these tips, you should have a fairly smooth conversation and be able to express your concerns.

First, be empathetic. You need to put yourself in your loved one's shoes and imagine what it would be like to hear from your children that they are concerned about your outward appearance.

Second, allow them to keep their dignity. Don't be accusatory. Find a way to bring it up in conversation that allows your loved one to come to the conclusion that there is a need for concern on his or her own.

Third, include other loved ones or siblings in the conversation, if you think it will help. Make sure they are supportive of your conversation and that they will be there to lend that support. Have a unified message and approach for addressing your concerns. This approach can be very helpful if you have a strained relationship with your older loved one.

If the situation is dire, meaning that your loved one can no longer bathe or toilet himself, you need to be able to turn to professional resources for help with hygiene care. Allow your loved one to see how outside help with hygiene care may allow him or her to maintain pride and dignity, while receiving the care he needs. This approach will help you, as a caregiver and child or spouse better retain relationships with family caregivers.

If possible, have your loved one assist in the process of hiring a home health aide. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging if you are able to look at community resources. Once you explain the need for home care, the agency will send out a social worker to assess your loved one's needs. There are some services, like transportation, meals and help with chores that can be had for little cost.