Help your toddler navigate their fears with empathy and understanding. Acknowledge their feelings, reassure their safety, and empower them to find solutions together.
“You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~ Christopher Robin
Key Concepts:
- Toddlers often feel uncertain and insecure, leading to an increased desire for control and to new fears. Your toddler's brain is programmed to imagine the worst and prepare to fight, flee or freeze. They cannot access their thinking brain to rationalize that the noise outside their window happens every night.
- Fears are VERY real for your toddler, whether or not they make sense to you. They experience fear in their bodies just as you do. Their elevated heart rate, sweating, panic - it is all driven by the amygdala and is very, very real for them. Take their fears and their body’s response seriously.
What to Try:
- Acknowledge your child's fear, and allow them space to feel seen and heard. “I know that was scary. We all find things scary sometimes, and it doesn't feel good.”
- Talk about how fear feels and looks to help them learn to listen to their body (and empathize with others). "It looks like you’re a little nervous to pet the dog. You got really quiet and stood behind me. Do you want to try to pet him together?"
- Reassure them about their safety. “I am here to listen to you when you are scared and to help keep you safe.”
- Brainstorm solutions together (spraying for monsters under the bed, posting a sign on the door that says no bad dreams allowed, having a magic lego piece in their pocket when they try something new). The solution is less important than the control your child feels in trying something, and you taking that attempt seriously.
- Avoid scary stories, shows or experiences.
- Role-play and play pretend to "practice" situations they feel nervous about (doctor visit). Nudge your child a little out of their comfort zone in safe situations where you can scaffold their experience, like going into the ocean together.
- Read books and tell stories about conquering fears.