“Parents worry about kids’ boredom, so they schedule their lives to keep them busy…but empty hours teach children how to create their own happiness.” - Dr. Rosenfeld & Nicole Wise
Key Concepts:
Extracurricular activities are on the rise. Research shows that one major reason why parents spend so much money on their children (and their extracurricular activities) is linked to competitive parenting and fear. This is the idea that “the hill” to climb is getting steeper and there is more room to "fall."
Extracurriculars have many benefits, including improved academic performance, positive attitudes, and physical health. When your child participates in an extracurricular, they are building a skill which also helps them gain confidence.
There is no research to suggest that children who do MORE extracurricular activities get “ahead of their peers.
Too many extracurriculars can have negative impacts like an increase in stress, anxiety, and injury, and a damaging loss of sleep and downtime.
What to Try:
- Love and appreciate your child for who they are, not what they do. Make them feel unconditionally loved regardless of their achievements.
- Manage your own thinking and judgment. Can you analyze patterns or fears in your own thinking that are influencing decisions for your children? A better understanding of yourself will help you maintain neutrality for your child.
- Leave societal pressure behind and make decisions that align with your child and family.
- Be the balance keeper and make sure your child finds balance between activities they love and the rest that they need.
- Give your child choice! Let your child choose the activities they do based on their interest. Commit to one session (or season, depending on the activity) and give your child a chance to reevaluate. Quitting is not failure.
- Pay attention to signs of discomfort, pressure, or strain. Read your child’s verbal and non-verbal cues. Is it a power struggle before practice? A stomach ache? Repeated injuries? Signs of stress can be a sure sign your child is overcommitted.
- Prioritize your child's sleep. Find ways to ensure your child gets the rest they need to help them grow and function effectively.