Guide your tween or teen through early relationships with open communication, healthy boundaries, and modeling respect to foster emotional growth and well-being.
"First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity." George Bernard Shaw
Key Concepts:
- The tween and teen years mark a time of significant emotional and social development, often including the first forays into romantic relationships. As a parent, understanding and supporting your child during this period is crucial.
- Tween and teen relationships can range from innocent crushes to more serious dating. It's important to recognize that these early experiences play a pivotal role in shaping your child's understanding of love, intimacy, and boundaries. While exciting, it's also a time fraught with potential challenges, given the emotional intensity and lack of experience.
- 35% of teens (aged 13-17) reported having some experience with dating or romantic relationships. Older teens (15-17) were twice as likely as younger teens (13-14) to have ever had a romantic relationship (44% vs. 20%).
- Early romantic relationships, typically those that begin in adolescence, can have both positive and negative developmental implications. These implications can vary based on individual factors, relationship quality, and the timing of the relationship. Parents can play a role in observing behavior for any red flags.
What to do:
- Open communication. Initiate conversations about relationships WAY before your child starts dating. Discuss healthy relationship dynamics, including respect, communication, honesty, and consent. Talk about what being supported feels like, how relationships can empower you, and use your own experiences whenever possible. Don't shy away from addressing difficult topics like heartbreak, peer pressure, and the influence of social media.
- Create a safe space. Remember that the easier you are to talk to, the more your child will talk. Be a good listener. Give your child time to talk, plenty of room to vent, and be aware of when NOT to jump in. When you do speak, validate their experience. Don’t dismiss or demean what they are feeling and take them seriously.
- Establish clear expectations. Mutually decide on age-appropriate dating, curfews, and guidelines for online interactions. Explain the reasoning behind these boundaries, emphasizing your concern for their safety and well-being.
- Modeling healthy relationship behaviors. Demonstrate respect, communication, and conflict resolution skills in your interactions with others.
- Teach healthy coping mechanisms. Encourage your child to keep other areas of their lives (outside of relationships) full. This includes making time for friends outside their romantic partner, being involved in group activities, such as sports, and/or journaling about their feelings.