Discussing Driving Concerns With A Loved One

The ability to drive a car is a privilege, not a right. This needs to be taken into consideration as drivers get older.

Reflexes become dull; eyesight fades. These things happen to all seniors as they get older; however, some seniors have a difficult time relinquishing the keys when the time comes for them to stop driving.

There are those individuals who come to the conclusion that it is time for them to stop driving. Then, there are some seniors who may be cognizant of their decline, but not willing to give up driving completely. The issue might come down to loved ones' concerns that force the senior driver to act. These seniors might feel relieved that someone else made the decision for them.

Whatever the situation, you may find yourself speaking with your loved one about his or her driving. If you find yourself in this position, remember the following items.

1. You need to be respectful. Like you, your loved one or older friend probably has fond memories of getting his or her driver's license.
2. Be persistent. Don't back down when he or she gives you reasons why they should still drive. Give your loved one specific examples, such as “I noticed that you're braking much more suddenly than you used to,” or “I've noticed that you have a hard time reading street signs lately.”
3. You can convince your loved one better with help from others. You may not be alone in observing different driving behavior. Your loved one might also listen to someone who is objective like a doctor or driving instructor.
4. You should offer your loved one help in finding other means of transportation. Your local Area Agency on Aging will have information on transportation services in the area. Some churches and community groups have volunteers to take seniors wherever they need to go.

Even after following these steps, your loved one may still refuse to stop driving. The caregiver must keep in mind that every time they get behind the wheel they are risking their life and the lives of others.

You may need to make a call to your state's Department of Motor Vehicles and ask about a medical review for a person who is not able to safely drive. In some cases, he may be asked to retake a driving test and have his license taken away. Another last resort option is to sell or disable the car by disconnecting the battery or removing the distributor cap.

Reference: Helpguide.org & National Institute on Aging