Differences Of Opinions

Caregivers and their loved ones often disagree when it comes to managing their care.

Dementia can cause many differences in opinions, as caregivers may not understand the things that are important to their loved ones. Those differences of opinion can arise in other caregiving situations as well.

A study done by The Pennsylvania State University and the Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging examined the importance of five core values to caregivers and their loved ones with dementia: autonomy, burden, control, family and safety. The study found that caregivers underestimated the importance that their loved ones placed on all five of the core values. The major reason for this was that caregivers often felt that their loved ones were unable to make their own decisions about daily life. As your loved one's cognitive abilities decline, lack of agreement is common. Chances are that you will have to act as a surrogate decision maker at some point. It's important to understand your loved one's preferences so that you can make the best choices.

Differences of opinion are also very common among siblings, other family members and others providing care. Fights can break out over division of labor, availability, finances and many other factors. The 50-50 Rule was developed by Home Instead Senior Care to help siblings and family members prevent and overcome differences of opinion when caring for a loved one. The basic premise is that siblings, or whoever is sharing caregiving responsibilities, split the division of labor 50/50. Here are some tips based on the 50-50 Rule to prevent and resolve differences of opinion.

Communicate:

Have conversations with your loved one and other family members involved in their care. It is important that everyone understands their values and needs.

Research:

Do your research on the different types of services and care options for your loved one. Involve them if you can so that they feel like they're part of the process and decision.

Plan ahead:

Talk to your loved one about their preferences before anything happens. While it may seem early, you never know what life holds, and it's important to know what your loved one wants before they can no longer tell you themselves.

Be flexible:

The needs of your loved one will change as time passes, as does the life of their caregivers. Divide caregiving tasks based on each family member's interests, skills and availability. With a little extra effort, you can effectively work through differences of opinion between your family, caregivers and your loved one.

Resource: homeinstead.com, benrose.org