Explore motor, social, and cognitive milestones for 3-4-year-olds, plus fun activities to support growth. Remember: Every child develops at their own pace!
Motor Development
By 3 years:
- Strings items together (for example, macaroni on a string)
- Puts some clothing on without help
- Uses a fork
By 4 years:
- Can catch a big ball
- Can serve themselves food Pours water (with supervision!) Can unbutton a button
- Holds a pencil between their fingers and thumb (not their fist)
Reminder: You know your child best. If you notice that your child has lost any skills that they once had, or you have other concerns, don’t hesitate to speak with your child’s healthcare provider.
What to Try:
- As always, be mindful of safety! Motor development is exciting, but also means that your toddler can suddenly access new potential hazards.
- Dance together! Take turns copying each other’s moves. Make time for active play. This can be anything you and your child enjoy!
- Pass a ball back and forth. Stretch your child’s skills by changing the speed, distance, or getting creative (“How many times can we pass back and forth before the timer goes off? Let’s pretend to be elephants. How would an elephant throw the ball?”)
- Cooking together encourages children to practice fine motor development (and early math skills too)
- Hide a familiar object in a bag. Ask them to guess what it is just by touch. Switch roles.
Social & Communication Development
By 3 years:
- Calms down within 10 minutes after a separation
- Plays together with other children Can have a serve & return interaction with two or more back and forth exchanges
- Uses question words (“who”, “where”, etc.)
- Labels actions with “-ing” words (“running”)
- Says their name when asked Understandable when they speak
- You understand 75-100%
- Other adults understand 50-75%
- Pretends to be something while playing Comforts others (hugs a crying friend) Greater awareness and avoidance of danger
- Enjoys being a “helper”
- Uses sentences with four or more words Says some lyrics from a song or nursery rhyme
- Can talk about something that happened during their day (“I went to grandma’s”
- Can answer simple questions (“What is a jacket for?”)
What to Try:
- Build your child’s self regulation with simple breathing exercises (Take 5: Child inhales for the count of 5, raising a finger for each count. Then they exhale for 5 counts, putting a finger down for each count.)
- When you read together, encourage your child to notice characters’ emotions. Talk about what those emotions feel like and brainstorm what they might do to help them.
- Give your child opportunities to help around the house with age-appropriate tasks. Model gratitude and talk about how meaningful it is to work together.
- When your child doesn’t say a word correctly or makes a grammatical mistake, model how to say it right. (“There is three fishes!” “Yes, I see them! There are three fish.”)
- Avoid overpraising your child. Stick with praise that is sincere and process oriented (“you tried so many different ways of mixing red and blue!”).
Cognitive Development
By 3 years:
- Can draw a circle when you show them how
- Avoids touching hot objects when you warn them not to
By 4 years:
- Names a few colors
- Tells you what comes next in a story they know
- Draws people with two to four body parts
What to Try:
- Dance and play instruments together (banging on pots and pans counts!). Music requires kids to practice imitation and listening for the beat. Play a rhythm and have them play it back. Then have them lead.
- Plan a pretend adventure. This encourages planning skills and thinking about hypothetical situations.
- Ask them about past experiences. This encourages them to practice storytelling and think outside of the present.
- Play outside! Spending time in nature supports the rest and recovery of the brain’s attention and self regulatory systems.
- Ask your child to make predictions about what’s going to happen in stories.
- Try to make space for your child’s “why” questions. If you don’t know the answer, suggest researching it together. You can ask them questions too! “Why do you think the leaves are turning orange?” The goal is to talk about their thinking, not about getting the right answer.
- Sort clothes together to talk about colors, patterns, and textures.
- Go on a color scavenger hunt. Play a song, and ask them to bring you something red before you pause the song. Adjust how long you give them depending on how easy or difficult it is for them.
Sources: American Academy of Pediatrics & CDC