By age 4, children develop key motor, social, and cognitive skills. Learn what milestones to expect and fun activities to encourage growth in all areas.
Motor Development
By 4 years:
- Can catch a big ball most of the time after it bounces
- Can kick a ball forward and throw overhand
- Can hop and stand on one foot for up to five seconds
- Can serve themselves food Uses scissors
- Draws circles and squares
- May begin to copy some capital letters Pours water (with supervision!)
- Can unbutton a button
- Holds a pencil between their fingers and thumb (not their fist)
What to Try:
- To help your child become aware of their senses, place an object behind their back and ask them to explore it using touch.
- Encourage them to describe how the object feels before they tell you what they think it is. "Before you guess what it is, what does it feel like to you? Is it smooth or rough?"
- Dance! Take turns copying each others moves or try freeze dance.
- Play catch, and try mixing it up with different size and weight balls. To mix it up, take turns passing the ball in silly ways (for example, through your legs or like different animals, "How would a duck pass the ball?").
- Provide your child with activities to practice holding a crayon or marker. To keep your child motivated, keep it fun with connect the dots and mazes, instead of worksheets or writing letters.
Reminder: You know your child best. If you notice that your child has lost any skills that they once had, or you have other concerns, don’t hesitate to speak with us as well as your child’s healthcare provider.
Social & Communication Development
By 4 years:
- Pretends to be someone/something while playing
- Often has difficulty telling the difference between what's "real" versus "fantasy"
- Increased independence
- Comforts others (hugs a crying friend)
- Greater cooperation with other children and negotiation to resolve conflicts
- Greater awareness and avoidance of danger
- Enjoys being a “helper”
- Says some lyrics from a song or nursery rhyme
- Can talk about something that happened during their day (“I went to grandma’s”)
- Can answer simple questions (“What is a jacket for?”)
- Speaks in 5-6 word sentences following basic grammar rules (for example, uses pronouns like "me" and "you" correctly)
- Speaks clearly enough that strangers can understand them
- Tells stories
- Understands "same" versus "different"
What to Try:
- Encourage your child to tell you stories by asking them open- ended questions about their day. Instead of "how was your day?" or "did you have fun?", you can try a high/low conversation starter (the high is something happy and the low is something challenging).
- For playdates, set a time limit. When children get tired, they often find it harder to cooperate. It’s good to finish play time with everyone wanting to do it again.
- Talk to your child about friendships and what it means to be a good friend.
- If your child wants you to join into their pretend play (and if you're up for it!), try asking questions to better understand what they’re doing instead of changing the game or making assumptions.
- Model positive self-talk (“I can't quite reach my toes yet, but if I keep practicing, I'll get there.”)
- Bring in pretend play by encouraging them to pretend to be their favorite character while using positive self talk ("Batman, you can do this!").
Cognitive Development
By 4 years:
- Names a few colors
- Tells you what comes next in a story they know
- Can remember parts of a story Draws people with two to four body parts
- Understands how to count and knows a few numbers
- Has a better understanding of time (tomorrow, yesterday, etc.)
- Follows three-part instructions
- When you read together, let your child hold the book, turn the pages, and pause before finishing sentences. This encourages them to jump in and flex their memory skills.
- Encourage them to "read" the story to you.
- Talk about time. Time words, like tomorrow, after, and yesterday, are very tricky to grasp! Young children are still developing their mental timeline. To support this, talk about past and future events.
- "You were five-months-old here" (looking at pictures).
- "In ten minutes, we’re going to the park."
- "We're going to grandma's after you take a nap."
- Sing counting songs and read books that incorporate counting. I have two eyes, one nose, one mouth, two arms, and on and on and on.
- Help your child develop a love of learning by digging into their "why" questions and researching them together when you don't know the answer.
Sources: American Academy of Pediatrics & CDC