By ages 4 and 5, your child will hit exciting milestones in motor, social, communication, and cognitive development. Discover tips to support their growth!
Motor Development
By 4 years:
- Can catch a big ball most of the time after it bounces
- Can kick a ball forward and throw overhand
- Can hop and stand on one foot for up to five seconds
- Can serve themselves food Can use scissors
- Draws circles and squares
- May begin to copy some capital letters Pours water (with supervision!)
- Can unbutton a button
- Holds a pencil between their fingers and thumb (not their fist)
By 5 years:
- Can hop and stand on one foot for ten or more seconds
- Somersaults, swings, climbs May start to skip
- Can write a few letters
- Dresses and undresses without help
- Uses a fork, spoon, and maybe a knife Handles using the bathroom on their own most of the time
What to Try:
- Be mindful of how often you say, "Be careful!!" To help your child stretch their gross motor skills, try saying, "Put your foot down slowly - is the rock wiggly? If it's wiggly, find a more stable one before stepping onto it."
- This teaches your child the skills to be safe while still reaping the benefits of exploration and risk taking.
- Once your child can handle a new skill on their own, try to avoid overpraising. Praise works best when it's sincere.
Reminder: You know your child best. If you notice that your child has lost any skills that they once had, or you have other concerns, don’t hesitate to speak with us as well as your child’s healthcare provider.
Social & Communication Development
By 4 years:
- Pretend play
- Often has difficulty telling the difference between what's "real" versus "fantasy"
- Increased independence
- Comforts others (hugs a crying friend), greater cooperation, and conflict negotiation
- Greater awareness of danger Repeats some song lyrics
- Can tell stories about their day (“I went to grandma’s”)
- Can answer simple questions (“What is a jacket for?”)
- Speaks in 5-6 word sentences with basic grammar rules (for example, uses pronouns like "me" and "you" correctly) Speaks clearly enough that strangers can understand them
- Understands "same" versus "different"
By 5 years:
- Eager to please and be similar to friends
- More willing to agree to rules Increased independence
- Able to distinguish between fantasy and reality
What to Try:
- Model your inner voice by narrating how you talk to yourself. Try, “Everyone gets nervous sometimes. You’ve got this” or “I've almost got this pan cleaned. Just a little more scrubbing and I'll be all done."
- Encourage your child to watch what others are doing so they can work out how to join in. For example, “What’s Bella doing with that food? Do you think she might be setting up a restaurant? Do you think it might need customers? Or a cook?”
- For playdates, try limiting them to one or two friends at a time and set a time limit. When kids are overtired, it makes handling conflicts tougher.
- Talk to your child about friendships and what it means to be a good friend, and that every friendship has its ups and downs.
- When your child tells you about a conflict with a friend or classmate, ask, "Do you need a suggestion on how to handle that?”
Cognitive Development
By 4 years:
Names a few colors
Tells you what comes next in a story they know
Can remember parts of a story Draws people with two to four body parts
Understands how to count and knows a few numbers
Has a better understanding of time (tomorrow, yesterday, etc.)
Follows three-part instructions
By 5 years:
- Can count ten or more things Can name four or more colors
- Stronger understanding of the concept of time
- Knows the uses of everyday things at home (money, appliances, etc.)
What to Try:
- To help your child break down challenging tasks into manageable chunks, talk through what steps they can take one at a time. Narrate your problem- solving strategies out loud.
- Try color scavenger hunts, at home or outside. Encourage them to look for an object that's red and bring it back to you.
- To make the game more challenging, you can add timer, ask them to collect more than one object, or even combine two characteristics (find something fuzzy and red).
- Label and describe shapes. What characteristics make a triangle a triangle, or a square a square? Count the sides and corners together.
- Draw unusual versions of shapes that your child may not see as often (for example, a very squished, long triangle). This helps your child learn about shapes at a deeper level then just labeling them.