Teach patience through consistency, positive reinforcement, and fun distractions. Help your child build self-regulation and trust as they develop the skills to delay gratification for bigger rewards.
“Patience is bitter but it’s fruit is sweet.” – Jean Jacques Rousseau Notes:
Key Concepts:
- Delayed gratification: the ability for your child to postpone immediate gratification in exchange for a greater reward that comes later.
- This skill is something your child develops over time. They do this by learning from the environment and trusting individuals (we’re looking at you!).
- Remember executive function (EF) skills? In order to show delayed gratification, important EF skills need to be in place, like self regulation and inhibitory control.
- Around ages 4 to 5, children make gigantic developmental strides in having the cognitive skills necessary to delay gratification.
- A child’s ability to delay gratification is reliant on the trustworthiness of the environment. Consistency is key.
What to Try:
- Model consistency. Your child has to be able to trust that you’re reliable. If you say “after dinner, you can have a small dessert,” stick to your word.
- Point out your child’s efforts when they are trying to delay gratification. “Wow. Waiting your turn to play with that toy guitar isn’t easy! I’m noticing you’re watching patiently and with a calm body.”
- Use positive distractions to your advantage! Do this by using games, songs, and dances to help your child delay any impulses they may have. For example, Grandma is almost there and your child really wants to wait at the door but their room is a mess from playing with blocks…“let’s play the clean up song and dance our way through this cleanup together!”