Sleepaway camp is around the corner. As the lists get checked and the bags get packed, there are a few skills that kids need to practice before they head off on their way.
Can you smell it in the air? It’s almost camp time. Get out those trunks or duffles, dust off the lap desks, and order waaaaaay more labels than you think you’ll need.
But what about those first time campers? The ones who seemed like babies just months ago, and now are preparing to take on a summer of independence? Chances are, it’s time for you to focus on a few key skills they’ll need before the bus pulls up in June.
#1. Make a list of all the ways you can support your child’s autonomy. As parents, it is easy for us to take over small tasks that our children are capable of. Our desire to coddle them, our own efficiency, and even the rush of a busy day, can have us doing things FOR our children instead of promoting them to do it THEMSELVES. Take a moment to consider what your child can do on their own and transfer over those responsibilities. Homework, packing their backpack, making their own school lunch? Chances are your child can do more than you’ve noticed. And for those tasks that are just out of reach? Work on supporting your child “just enough” to get them independent in the coming weeks or months.
#2. Work on sleep. Going to sleep away camp means your child will need to fall asleep (and stay asleep) without you. Practice having your child fall asleep on their own - without you in their bed, in their room, or frequently checking on them. Learning to fall asleep independently is an important skill in their development, and an important part of camp preparation. Instead of YOU, find some transitional objects that offer comfort - like a t-shirt with your scent on it, a favorite stuffed animal, or a fuzzy blanket. Start introducing those objects now, and make them a part of the bedtime routine that your child can take with them. Finally, remember that learning what to do when you’re awake is a struggle for all of us. Talk to your child about games to play in their minds - like picturing their favorite vacation spot, naming all the kids in their class based on where they sit, planning a trip to the moon and packing all the supplies they will need. Visualization exercises like these can help children to keep their minds busy and relax themselves into sleep.
#3. Help them to master their grooming. Children off to sleepaway camp will have plenty of support, but one area where a little practice can help is around daily routines and grooming. Have your first time camper practices showering…fast. Time the shower to their favorite 3-4 minute song and help them get in all the important parts within the time limit. Then onto brushing their hair, making a ponytail, getting dressed, tying shoes, flossing, wiping themselves…the list goes on and on. Think about what your child needs to make them successful in these tasks, and help facilitate it. Make it fun, encourage silliness, and get enough practice in to help your child to feel confident in their abilities.
#4. Have discussions about homesickness. It is normal and expected for first time campers to be homesick, and even returning campers experience bouts of homesickness every year. Instead of remaining silent about homesickness, or hoping that it won’t happen to your child, prepare them for the reality that there will be moments where they miss home, miss you, and feel sad. Let them know that you have confidence in their ability to manage these feelings, and that even though they feel so strong in the moment, they will soon pass (like all feelings). Talk about homesickness as a natural and normal part of the camp experience, and not something to be avoided or scared of. It’s critical to our children's sense of self-esteem and confidence that we believe in their skills to manage hard moments, and don’t jump in to rescue them at the first sign of distress. The more they learn to work through hard moments, the stronger and more resilient they grow. For some kids, practicing spending nights away from home in preparation - like sleepovers with friends or family, or maybe a weekend at grandma’s - can help them to feel, and survive homesick feelings.
#5. Discuss consent and safety. Camp is full of a lot of nakedness. Preparing your child by talking about puberty, consent and safety is an important part of a parent’s role. Research shows that kids who have talked to their parents about safety issues, including consent, are less susceptible, and more likely to report abuse. Why? Because when subjects are not taboo, or secret, children come to normalize discussions about them, and feel more open and comfortable raising those issues to adults. See our upcoming blog on talking about consent and safety for specific tips on what to say.