Building Resilience in Kids with ADHD: Strategies for Growth and Confidence

Learn how to help kids with ADHD develop resilience, take healthy risks, and navigate challenges by promoting independence and problem-solving skills.

Key Concepts:

• Resilience is the ability to bounce back from stress, adversity, failure, challenges, or even trauma.
• Resilience is not something that you are born with or without - it’s a skill that kids develop as they grow.
• Resilience helps kids navigate stressful situations. When kids have the skills and the confidence to confront and work through their problems, they learn that they have what it takes to confront difficult issues. The more they bounce back on their own, the more they internalize the message that they are strong and capable.
• Resilient kids are more likely to take healthy risks. They are curious, brave, and trusting of their instincts. They know their limits and are willing to step outside of their comfort zones.
• Resilience is especially important for our kids with ADHD because they have to function in a world that’s not built for the way their brains are wired. They have to learn how toovercome additional setbacks to reach their long-term goals and solve problems independently.

What to try:

• Promote Healthy Risk-Taking. i.e. trying a new sport, participating in a new activity, talking to peers.
• Resist the Urge to “Fix.” Project confidence that your child can learn from, and handle, difficult situations. Remember that you can empathize without intervening.
• Help Them Find Their “Island of Competence.” What are the strengths and interests that your child possesses, or strengths that could be nurtured that would give them feelings of pride and dignity, improve their self-view, and that they can use to serve others.
• Teach Problem-Solving Skills. Help them to learn to tackle problems with grit and creativity, especially as they learn to cope with setbacks or resolve conflict.
• Embrace Mistakes—Theirs and Yours. Help your child understand that everyone makes mistakes, and that it is an important part of learning.
• Encourage autonomy and a sense of control. Allow your children to do for themselves what they can do, give just enough help for them to do the things they can almost do, and model for them the things they cannot yet do.
• Create a family bounceback statement.  “When we get knocked down, we get up and try again,” for them to repeat when they face hardship, and talk about their power to turn struggles into successes. 
• Create strong family traditions as an anchor. Resilient children often have sources of faith and hope they can draw from in hard times. Try to create those with your child beginning now. Talk about traditions, religious faith or other strong influences in your family that help you to feel grounded and manage stress. Then model it. This may mean having a family dinner no matter how crazy the week, or telling yourself stories from your family’s history that can offer inspiration.