Body Image

For children, noticing similarities and differences all around them, messages about what the world finds attractive can be confusing.

Research tells us that almost half of children ages 6 to 12 are unhappy with their appearance, and that insecurities around body image emerge early.

Children as young as 3 have notions about how bodies should look. They already associate negative adjectives with larger body types, and positive adjectives with thin, tall body types.

Of all the components of body image, it is the sense of self that is most closely associated with disordered eating, mood and psychological effects related to appearance.

The connection between what is beautiful and how we feel about ourselves, is perhaps the best opportunity parents have to make a difference in how children see and feel about themselves.

Here are 10 ways to promote a healthy body image starting TODAY.

1. "Your body is an instrument.” Focusing on body appreciation can be the natural antidote to body image issues. Talk about all of the amazing and incredible things that the body is capable of, like “How does your body know to do that?” Add examples like their eyes seeing colors, muscles getting stronger, fat on our tushies to sit comfortably, changing temperatures when we sleep, and more.  Research shows that appreciating the body and having respect for its abilities is associated with positive self-esteem and greater interest in healthy lifestyle and habits.
2. “What if you were only your elbow?” Help your child to appreciate their body as a collection of many things. Even though they may only notice one characteristic in the mirror, take apart the hold of any one thing by promoting integration. They are a complicated system, working together to achieve great things.
3. “How does that make your body feel?” Health education often starts with noticing and recognizing patterns in how your body feels. This is the interception sense, which helps us to understand sensations within our bodies. How does your body feel when you eat that sugar? When you eat protein? When you get enough sleep? When you get extra cuddles from someone you love? When you move more? When you stretch? Noticing how your body feels in response to healthy (and unhealthy) habits has been shown to be more likely to impact choices and behaviors in the future. Instead of being told by someone outside of themselves, children are learning to tap into what their body is telling them.
4. “Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and they are all good.” Research shows that talking about the body as neutral, coming in all shapes and sizes, all types, all colors, all ways, allows children to see their bodies without shame or judgment.
5. “I love myself just the way I am.” Starting right now, stop all comments about your own body, positive or negative. You are the most important role-model for your children, and a healthy body image starts by watching you. Be conscious of your comments around what you look like, and stick to the way you feel and different choices you are making.
6. “She is that very helpful person we met at the store.” Describe people (including your child and yourself) by characteristics of who they are, not what they look like. If you want your child to define themselves as kind, strong, curious, brave, etc. you can’t only notice how others are short, fat, pretty or blonde. Think about the qualities that matter most in your family, and practice finding and talking about them in yourself and others.
7. “I am grateful for our lunch today.” Talk about food lovingly, and with kindness. Talking about food with grace, openness and respect can help to teach your child to eat a variety of foods. Sugar isn’t poison, carbs aren’t “terrible for you” and you probably don’t want to live on carrots. All foods have a time and place.
8. “Have you ever noticed how beautiful grandma’s face is when she laughs?” Expand the definition of beauty by noticing beauty all around you. The love between you and your child, or the way their face lights up when you walk into the room. The quilt you made as a child, or the knots of wood on the dining table. Expand your child’s notions of beauty by finding beauty in interesting places.
9. ● #9 “We value people for more than how they look.” Break generational patterns around body image. Make sure that grandparents, aunts, nannies, and friends understand how you want bodies to be discussed and represented. Modeling this type of positive body talk will also give your child language for when their friends express body dissatisfaction. Children whose friends struggle with body image are more likely to develop insecurities themselves.
10. ● #10 “We make different choices.” Examine your media content. Are all your princesses blonde? The bad guys fat? The ogres covered in warts? Superheroes slim and muscular? Make sure you find accurate and inclusive representations in the books, TV and other media that your child consumes. Get books about how the human body works (and then try naming the bones and muscles), about different body types, colors and shapes.

Alleva, J. M., & Tylka, T. L. (2021). Body functionality: A review of the literature. Body Image, 36, 149-171.

Tatangelo, G., McCabe, M., Mellor, D., & Mealey, A. (2016). A systematic review of body dissatisfaction and sociocultural messages related to the body among preschool children. Body Image, 18, 86–95.