Being a Cancer Caregiver

Hearing that your loved one has cancer can be a shock to the system, followed by feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to start when you are in a new role as a caregiver.

A common experience for many cancer caregivers is feeling confused and stressed. 

For some, learning about the specific cancer can help caregivers feel more confident and in control. You can be empowered by understanding the type of cancer and stage, and knowing what to expect with tests, procedures, and treatment, as well as any side effects that may accompany treatment. 

Who is a cancer caregiver? 

A caregiver is the individual who cares for the loved one with cancer and is often not paid for caregiving duties. These caregivers are usually spouses/partners, family members, or close friends or neighbors. As a lot of cancer care is now done in outpatient treatment centers of oncologists’ offices, caregivers are often caring for their loved ones at home.

What can you expect as a cancer caregiver? 

Cancer caregivers are a critical part of the loved one’s care team, and will often work closely with the treating staff. Some examples of things you may manage as a cancer caregiver: 

• Managing side effects 
• Reporting problems 
• Providing information to the care team whether a treatment seems to be working 
• Coordinating your loved one’s appointments
• Keeping track of paperwork and prescriptions 
• Notifying treating staff of complications and the loved one being admitted to the hospital 

Day-to-day responsibilities 

Sometimes loved ones need extra daily support while undergoing treatment, or following a hospital stay. Some examples of what you may manage are: 

• Going grocery shopping and/or cooking 
• Administering medication 
• Assisting with mobility challenges when going to the bathroom, dressing, or bathing
• Getting bills paid 
• Doing housework (keeping the house clean, doing laundry, etc.) 

Your relationship with your loved one is important 

A very important part of being a caregiver is practicing good communication. Try to involve your loved one as much as possible in all decision-making. 

Talk through the activities that your loved one may be most interested in doing to keep them engaged and active. Maintaining as normal a lifestyle as possible can help ease the stress of treatment for your loved one. 

Encourage your loved one to express how they feel about the cancer, allow them to share their experience with you, and also share how you are feeling. Communicating doesn’t always have to be verbal – it can be gestures such as holding hands, or touch in the form of hugging or leaning into one another. Your loved one may provide cues about the right time to share, or the need to spend some time alone. What is key is respecting your needs as well as your loved one’s in expressing feelings, concerns, or desires. Acceptance and sharing will help keep your relationship strong. 

Your wellbeing is important, too 

As important as it is to be present for your loved one as their caregiver, your wellbeing should not be overlooked. It is common to see many caregivers put their feelings and needs aside to focus on their loved one. This is difficult to maintain over time, and ultimately will have a negative impact on your health as well as your caregiving capacity. The stress and strain will show up in both physical and mental forms.

It’s OK to ask for help 

Sometimes it may feel as if you are taking on too much by yourself. It can be helpful to look at your responsibilities and identify some that may be shared with other family members or friends. Although it might feel hard asking for help, family members and friends may not know they could help out unless asked. Some tasks that you could ask for help with could be: 

• Helping out once or twice a week with shopping, cooking, or cleaning 
• Picking up children/teens from school, or hosting them for dinner 
• Going to the pharmacy to pick up medication
• Asking them to stay with your loved one to allow you time for a walk or a visit with a friend

You are not alone – Family First is here to help 

Family First knows that as your loved one’s caregiver, you wear many caregiving hats – you are a problem solver, your loved one’s health advocate, an appointment scheduler, and so much more. Family First’s Care Experts can work with you and your family to balance all your responsibilities while taking care of yourself so that you can maintain your overall wellbeing to have the strength to care for others.