Asking For Help Is The Right Thing To Do

As caregiver for your parent or other loved one, you want what is best for the person in your care.

You take care of your loved one's daily needs, make sure he or she has appropriate medical care, prepare nutritious meals and do everything you can to improve your loved one's quality of life. You probably take care of everything (and everyone)… except yourself!

According to a study by the American Psychological Association, caregivers are more likely than the general population to lay awake at night, overeat or eat unhealthy foods, or skip a meal because of stress. That stress can build up and have a negative impact on your physical health. If you are feeling the negative effects of caregiver stress, respite is exactly what you need. Respite is planned or emergency care that provides temporary relief to caregivers. Depending on your situation, you may need short or long-term respite solutions.

There are community-based respite options available in most areas. Adult day programs, for example, often offer a few hours or a day of respite or as needed. Your loved one will gain the benefits of enjoying new social relationships and enjoyable activities with others his or her age, and you will have peace of mind knowing that you can do what you need to do for yourself while leaving your loved one in good hands.

If you need (or want) to go away for the weekend, many retirement communities, assisted living facilities, and nursing homes offer overnight and longer-stay respite options. If you belong to a church, synagogue or mosque, check to see if a faith-based respite service is available, and some communities have volunteer respite programs. The federal Eldercare Locator (www.eldercare.gov) can help you identify respite services available in your community.

If services are limited in your area or the costs are prohibitive, don't be afraid to ask for help from family and neighbors. They may be able to stay with your loved one for a few hours periodically while you run errands or just take “time off” for yourself.

Many caregivers wait until there is a crisis to seek help, but you don't have to let it get to that point and you shouldn't. Taking care of your own health and well-being will have a positive effect on the care you provide to your loved one. Don't feel guilty about wanting time for yourself or doing something you enjoy. Both you and your loved one will benefit from it.