Nightmares can be distressing for kids, but parents can help by validating feelings, offering support, and creating strategies to reduce fear and build resilience.
What is it that makes children so vulnerable to nightmares?
Children have a knack for building elaborate imagined worlds. Yet when they’re asleep, their vivid imaginations can make their dreams very intense. In a recent study of nightmares, researchers found that children who have especially vivid imaginations and who have trouble separating their imagined world from the real world have nightmares more frequently and tend to get more distressed by them.
What can parents do to help kids with nightmares?
Research tells us that how you react after your child's nightmares makes a difference in the long run.
In one study, although children had just as many nightmares no matter how their parents reacted, those whose parents helped them process their fear were less frightened by their nightmares. In other words, you may not be able to prevent nightmares, but you can help your child feel less afraid of them. When children feel supported in processing their negative emotions, they learn to understand their fear and develop the tools they need to confront it in the future.
To help children feel less afraid of their nightmares,
- Validate your child’s feelings and assure them that you’re there to help them feel better. “Lots of kids have bad dreams. They can be really scary, and sometimes it’s still scary even after we wake up.”
- Empower your child to think through solutions together. Before bed, ask your child if they want to try doing a sweep for scary shadows or objects, getting a new nightlight, creating a “no nightmares allowed sign,” or spraying magical bravery spray. Creating a mantra like, “it’s only pretend” or having a quick checklist (snuggle my bear, look at the clock and think about ice cream), can also help.
- Try visualization: During the daytime hours, ask your child to try visualizing the source of their nightmare and facing it. “If you were Superman, what would you say to your nightmare?” or, “What if the monster in your dream was wearing pink, fluffy slippers and a silly hat?” Helping your child to rethink, and take the sting out, of the experience can build perspective.