ADHD 101

Learn how ADHD affects a child’s brain, key characteristics, and how to talk to your child about their diagnosis in a supportive, empowering way.

Key Concepts

• ADHD is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders of childhood.
• The brain of a child with ADHD develops differently than what is considered neurotypical. So when you hear the term neurodivergent that is a way of saying that this is a mind that is wired differently and parts of their brain develop later than their neurotypical peers.
• Common characteristics of the disorder are - having trouble paying attention, controlling impulsive behaviors, having a hard time completing a task they find boring, expressing emotions in a big way, or being overly active.
• Attention is how we take information in and decide what is useful. It is how we gather what we need to know and funnel it into our brain for future use. Where we store the information in our mind is called our working memory. Kids with ADHD often have difficulties with working memory. This means they are less able to anticipate what is going to be expected of them or use past experiences to guide their decisions.
• Because of their challenges with impulsivity and emotional regulation, many kids with ADHD have trouble making friends and fitting in.
• ADHD as a medical condition and not a result of poor parenting.

What to Try:

• Talk with your child about their ADHD diagnosis. This gives your child a chance to ask questions and understand what’s causing their symptoms.
• There’s no one right way to talk about this topic, but some general suggestions are:
• Pick a time where there are few distractions and use simple, age-appropriate language.
• Let them know ADHD is something they have, but it doesn’t define them or what they can achieve. You want them to understand there is nothing wrong with them, it is that their brain works differently like some people’s eyes work differently.
• Recognize and acknowledge your child’s unique strengths. Explain that everyone has unique strengths and weaknesses - you can use yourself and other family members as examples.
• Acknowledge the difficulties your child has been having - such as waiting his turn or having trouble sitting still - and let them know this is part of what you will be working on together.
• Give your child words to use if ADHD‑related behavior causes problems. For example, your child could say, “I’m sorry about that — my ADHD sometimes makes things harder for me. I’m working on ways to do better.”
• If you plan to disclose your child’s diagnosis at school, you could explain how teachers will be involved. For example, “Your teacher knows you have ADHD — that’s great, because she can help you with it. She might make changes in where you sit to make things easier. She might give you extra chances to practice focusing on assignments. And the two of you might work out a private signal she can use to remind you when you’re having trouble focusing.”